My beautiful daughter Amy had a miscarriage today. Actually, the baby died inside of her a couple of weeks ago and she will have surgery but will have to wait until the baby comes on it's own. It could be tonight or next week. She was about 4 months along and we are all very saddened by this occurrence.
I can really feel empathy for her because I have had two miscarriages myself. One was especially hard because I was about 5 months along and 2 of my sisters-in-law were due at the same time. Now they would have babies together and I would be left out. I mourned for a long time for this lost baby. It was not a fetus, not a pregnancy, but a baby.
Amy had Hyperemesis Hyperemesis gravidarum - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
which meant she has been very, very sick for these past few months but we kept saying just get through this and it will be worth it. Now their (our) dream is gone. Some of the things people thoughtlessly say are " oh, you can have another", or "it's for the best, it was probably not right", "it was God's will", "get over it, it wasn't a baby yet". Even if some of the things are true, they should never be said to the parents. Instead say, "I am sorry", "I love you", " I will help you with the housework, food and other children so you can rest", "take the time you need to mourn", "we care", "I will keep you in my prayers", "I am here".
Losing a baby is hard on the husband too as he tries to be strong and not show too much emotion in front of his wife. He has lost this dream too.
One thing I do know from my experience is that it can make you stronger. Or, if you let it, it can pull you away from people and from God's love. I had some wonderful people in my life to help. Amy and Wes do too. They are strong and will get through this with care and love from all of us.
7 comments:
Oh, poor Amy and Wes. My heart is just breaking for them. Amy is such an amazing mom. Please give her a big hug for me and tell her I love her.
I am shedding tears of sorrow for all of you. I am so sorry for this heart-breaking news.
Oh Just Joan and Wayne O I am so sad for you all. My heart is hurting for you we will keep you in our prayers
How very sad for all of you. I read your blog while Amy was staying with you and was so ill. How sad she went through all that and now to lose the baby. Hugs.
I am so, so sorry. Love you all and thinking of you.
I'm so sorry to hear this news. You said everything so beautifully. I'm especially sad about the things that people have said to them without thinking. You're absolutely right about the best and most helpful things to say, and I hope they get more of those heartfelt comments than the other kind.
Thanks for sharing your love and faith, Joan. I'll surely keep your family in my prayers.
Joan, I am so sorry for this sad loss. My step-daughter also has had two miscarriages, and it was so heart-breaking for them also. The pain is no different than losing any child. Please give Amy a hug for me and tell her that I hurt for her.
Post a Comment