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Sunday, November 30, 2008

Country Music

Wayne and I were listening to the radio on a recent trip. We both like country music but were laughing at some of the titles and lyrics of some of the songs. The one that stood out that day was: The only hell my Mama ever raised was me! Clever!!

Here are some real Country Music song titles: Clever, stupid...or both, you decide.

All I Want From You (Is Away)

All the Guys that Turn Me On Turn Me Down

Are You Drinkin With Me Jesus?

At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump

Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears

Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through The Goal Posts Of Life.)

Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

Her Only Bad Habit Is Me

Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?

How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?

I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral

I Bought the Shoes that Just Walked Out on Me

I Can't Pass the Bar, and There's One on my Way Home

I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.

I Gave Her My Heart And A Diamond And She Clubbed Me With A Spade

I Gave Her the Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger

I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2

I Sent Her Artificial Flowers For Her Artificial Love

I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better

I Want a Beer as Cold as My Ex-Wife's Heart

Went Back to My Fourth Wife for the Third Time and Gave Her a Second Chance to Make a First Class Fool Out of Me

I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!

I Would Kiss You Through the Screendoor but It'd Strain Our Love

I'd Rather Hear A Fat Girl Fart Than A Pretty Boy Sing

If I Had a Nose Full of Nickels, I'd Sneeze Them All Atchoo!

If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?

I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised.

I've Got Red Eyes From Your White Lies And I'm Blue All The Time.

Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head).

My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus.

My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him

She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft.

She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger.

Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone

When You Wrapped My Lunch in a Road Map, I Knew You Meant Good-Bye

Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too.

You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life

You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.

5 comments:

Shon O said...

There are some very odd songs out there. I love the new Christmas look of your blog too.

Susan said...

Love your new background and Josh Groban music!

Margaret Kay said...

Why can't I hear your music? Dang! Is your country music post to Josh Groban? Now THAT's funny!

Colett (*.*) said...

Those made me laugh so hard, I knew there was a reason I don't listen to country music, thanks for reminding me.

Live From Mommyville... said...

Surely some of those lyrics come from Brad Paisley's songs. I love Country music! These were hilarious.